Episode 14 – Back to work.

So the holidays were over. Everyone was looking tanned and relaxed.

Apparently there had been a time when people went on holiday and didn’t get sunshine; before the birth of the World Weather Management Bureau. Now you just looked at the weather schedules and picked a location and a time when the weather suited you, so ironically you didn’t really need to go anywhere, although you had to put up with crowded parks and beaches - unless you went to Luna of course. 
(see episode 8).

A few small wars had broken out deciding which countries had sun, and when, (clouds and rain could never be eliminated completely, just moved around) but Artlie-Saturn had had quite a lucrative time preparing bids and proposals for some of the key players. 

Travel companies had bought early rights to the weather schedules and marked up the sunny periods accordingly, until they realized people were staying at home for their own - free and predictable - sun. 

Things had settled down now. It generally rained weekdays, at night, over the larger food production areas and over Ireland.

There was a new brief on my desk. From CleverCode Inc. for the development of a new HoloService. The brief was marked For Your Eyes Only.

Dorid saw me pick the file up. I read the title. “Online Hair and Beauty Sculpting” 

I read it again, and noticed the whole office was looking at me.

“It’s straight, Art,” chipped in Dorid. “CleverCode have created software for people to get online haircuts. They want us to sell it to the cosmetics industry.”

I must have looked incredulous. 

"Online haircuts!?"

He frowned in concentration and began reading from his crib sheet...

“The subject submits their live vSelf Hologram and the software scans it and codes a haircut, based on their shape, and styled to the parameters they set. They can also dye it and blow-dry it.

There are a number of template styles to choose, or the subject can design their own. They need to purchase a miniature RoboHoverCutterDrier™ (or RHCD) that executes the procedure at their end, in realtime. This mirrors exactly the activity of the virtual cutter/drier at the CleverCode server end, as it executes the procedure round the subject's hologram. The subject ends up with the style they want; cut, coloured and dried without leaving their apartment, or the beach, or the office. Because it’s based on a live transmitted Holo, the cutter isn’t phazed even if the subject moves about,”

“but surely…”

“There are about a hundred layers of security protecting the coding and the patent, or else anyone could copy the software and run it locally. The cosmetics company buys a license from CleverCode and will, presumably, also use the live customer interface to push their own products.”

“This I gotta see…”

“There is a trial link on the brief, but they’ve told us not to use it yet. We’ve got to come up with a name and a slogan.”

Dorid did the face that said there was a joke coming “If it works, we'll all be millionhairs.”

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The Brainstorm

Friday after lunch, I had the office gathered round, Dorid had tuned in and was appearing virtually – I think he was still down the pub, and he was practically bald, so probably wouldn’t contribute much – although I noticed he had fiddled with his Holo settings and had given himself a full head of hair.

I threw up a spinning airborne image of the business end of the product, the RHCD. “Ok guys, you all know the product, you’ve had a heads up (I paused for nonexistent laughter) and a few days to read the brief, - whaddyathink?”

Nepty perked up first, “Can we try it out, Art? I’m well up for a free haircut,”

“They’ve told us not to yet, I think they’re being a little over-secretive, but I’ve signed an agreement, so no.”

“I’ll be happy to test it for us? Give me some personal insight into the product from a practical perspective and enlighten me to the commercial potential of the first twenty-third century online cosmetics service?”

“No.”

She pouted and stuck her tongue out.

I went on, “Let’s start with the name. Remember we’re creating an argument for cosmetics businesses to improve their service and extend their reach by offering a new online service,”

I set my iPear to record.

Jupe put his hand up, cynical as ever, “How about ‘Shear Madness?’”

“Very funny.” 

“..Hair Force?” offered Striton,

“Better, but we’re kinda missing the online bit,”

“Hairspace?”

“vStyle?” 

I could hear their grey matter whirring… “The product name is important – say VirtuTrim -  but the tagline needs to sell the idea. Let’s remember what’s in it for the cosmetics company; They have protected rights to a product that lets people tune in from anywhere in the world, anytime, and get beauty treatment, whilst the company pushes its other products and also makes a profit. If it works, it’s a real money spinner. 

Nepty got it, “ So; VirtuTrim - for spin, win, win?”

“Great.” 

“How about…?” Alto paused for thought  “..shorten it to vTrim, and say… ‘vTrim - shear promo, sure profit?”

Dorid’s hologram got involved (I noticed his hair now cascaded over his shoulders)… “Tune in, trim up?”

“It’s good, but we’re not selling to end users. The cosmeticists will have their own promotion for the product…”

“HairLine, or maybe ManeLine for… err… bottom line?”

“iClip, you ship?”

Striton jumped up, “iHair!, then we say ‘Get aHead, get iHair’?”

People seemed to like iHair

“iHair - A bit off the top, a lot on the bottom?”

Dorid spoke up again “iHair - here, hair, and everywhere?” (he now had a purple Mohican)

“iHair - Cutting edge promotion”

Nepty seemed to have lost interest and was staring intently at her screen…

I looked up at the virtual clock..

“OK guys, that’s probably enough to be getting on with. I think we’re close, I’ll get the ideas down and pitch them on Monday. I’m outa hair (tsk), have a great weekend.”

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Monday morning. Unusually, Nepty was in first. She seemed a little furtive and ignored me when I asked her to put the kettle on. She spoke to me with her back turned…

“So what was your favourite tag for the online haircut product, Art?”

“Morning Nepty, I trust you had a nice weekend. Well, I quite like a play on your idea, ‘vTrim - your spin, your win.’”

On the verge of tears, she turned to look me as she pulled off her wig. She had no hair, a blue cross-hatch pattern on her forehead, a livid scar running down one cheek, a cut lip and an eyepatch.

She whispered, “Yeah, well how about ‘My head, your horror story’?!”

I decided to make my own coffee.


To be continued

Hartley-Stone