Episode Two - November 29th 2211.

My MediWrist^™ showed me up to stress factor 7. I had 30 minutes to finish writing a new customer retention proposal for BlastM2bits Security Solutions, so I relied totally on my RoboDrive to get me to the office – only one minor collision, which is good. Three belts of SynthiCaff later and I was finally awake. In fact I was as high as a planet probe.


My mind flew to Plop Technologies^™. PT had recently been voted number two in waste management by the Department for Order, Development and Opportunity. Their taciturn MD had booked an Adholo slot on EVacU8, the HoloChannel for public works. The deadline was just 3 days away.


So far, all our ideas had gone down the pan. I had been on vBrainstorm^© with my Designers into the night. As a joke their vSelves had all appeared in my kitchen with nightclothes, wearing balls and chains.

We had dumped some early concepts and forced through some new ones. I was confident we'd hit the spot with at least one of them, but I had to get Dom's rubber stamp before we started production.


I got hold of the big guy the next morning on vCall. I could hear him, but I couldn’t see him. Then I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. A software glitch in our PlasmaWire system had put his vSelf at the back of my office. He was about 30cm tall, mixed up with the HoloPlant^©; which I noticed had been set to ‘Sprouting Spring’.


I turned to look down at him “Hi Dom, great to see you. We’ve run some concepts through the team. Let me pitch a couple of ideas at you…”


“Shoot,” he said, from between two swelling plums.


“OK – We start with dynamic chords, a background gurgle and a lingering holoshot of your most advanced RoboSlop^™, all shiny and new, with the latest Brown Trout^™ logo on its chest. 3D words punch out - ‘Your number two’s made us number two’, the slogan slowly forms a line of fish that circle round the logo and then disappear with a flourish as they’re sucked up his spiggot. ”
He sat down heavily on a branch, tendrils sprang out of his ears.
“Nope.”


“Our business is taking care of your business?”
A virtual chilli pepper slowly emerged from his forehead 
“..err nope.”


“Wiping out the opposition?”
“No way.”


“Look,” he said, from the centre of a sunflower, “My wife came up with a great slogan while she was grooming our VirtuPet^™ last night. How about; ‘ We take crap from all of our customers.’ ”


“Goodness,” I said, “Mrs Estos really has a talent for this stuff – let’s get right on it!”


“You bend too easily.” He replied “But the missus will be flushed to know you like her idea. It’s certainly grown on me.”


I signed off.

(to be continued)

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©Hartley-Stone 2011

Episode One - November 22nd, 2211

I checked my neural transmitter for the fifth time. Login still not ready, and Plop Technologies^™were already waiting for me on vMeet^©. PT's MD had set the vMeet request to 'urgent - life or death' and I needed to be there. So much for my vPear^© signal – pear-shape more like.


My MediWrist now glowed stress factor 6, although I put at least 2 points of that down to too much SythiCaff. I needed a holiday. Maybe I should book another session on VirtuBreak^™.


Then the holoplasma shimmered and I was in the room.


“Ahh, nice of you to join us Art,” said Dom, his ludicrously large purple boater not detracting from his sarcastic manner.


(You can now add your own silly hat graphics to your view of attendees in vMeet, it’s probably an upgrade I shouldn’t have messed with. I wondered what sort of hat my Designers had set for me.)


“I was just explaining to your Designers how PT was now number two in the waste management arena, ” He continued, "Obviously my evening with the head of the Department for Order, Development and Opportunity wasn't a complete waste."


Before I could congratulate him, he carried on “So I managed to get a last minute Adholo slot for next Thursday on EVacU8, to tell the world.”


I set my vSelf to happy face, already trying to work out how we were possibly going to meet the deadline he’d dumped on us, how I was going to tell him EVacU8 had rubbish viewing figures, and how PT still owed us for the abortive “We’re in it together” vCampaign, that covered all their customers in virtual sludge – not entirely my idea.


Dorid Saturn got in ahead of me. “That’s great Mr. Estos, we’ll bring in the new Brown Trout^™ logo as well.” I noticed Dorid had set his strangely young-looking, artificially tanned vSelf to ecstatic, but he just looked slightly mad – and I had forgotten having set him to wear a pink sombrero.


We had to get on. A throbbing pip at the top of my vision told me I had an incoming call, a throbbing courgette told me I had another virus.


“OK guys, we’ll get right on it,” I looked at our Designers. Jupe had on a bowler hat, thick glasses and a rubber nose, Nepty was wearing what looked like a large green duck.


“After all, if you want to get ahead…”

(to be continued)

http://www.hartley-stone.com